Help me find my friend

I am beyond my wits at the moment. My friend Maria Appelvisser is now missing for over 5 years and her parents have given up a few months ago. 

But I am not sure she is dead. 

Maria was always a strong, independent woman who tried to uncover small mysteries. She often went off on her own and she was great at making sure everything was safe for herself. 

 She had a dog called Tiger (Tijger), but he disappeared a year before she did, in 2016. 

We had this whole website with hints and tips about her. A friend helped Maria her parents set it up and I looked at any comments almost every day. Besides the many (too many) troll messages and 'joke' messages, the few tips we got had no results unfortunately.

Maria's parents have deleted the website after they had a talk with the police. They have buried an empty coffin, trying to move on.  I understand that they cannot hold on to the past. They have their son Michael to worry about. 

But I have this feeling Maria is still alive! 

Her mother gave me permission to keep on searching. Though she said there is little hope.

The reason I am typing this in English is that Maria was a big fan of traveling. She could spend days in the open air, just walking everywhere. Every now and then she had the money to hop on a train, or even get a cheap airplane ticket.  It is possible she has moved to another country and started a new life there. I don't know why she would cut all contacts, but maybe something happened that her parents don't want to tell me. 

Please help me find my dear friend. 
I am sure she wants to contact me, if she is able to. 
Below is some extra information about Maria. 

|Name| Maria Arnelia Appelvisser

|Geboortedatum| 12-6-1988

|Spreekt| Nederlands/English

|Zaaknummer:| 19881206123

|Sinds:| 21-6-2017

|Vermist uit:| Guurtjesbelt

Maria is vanaf 21 juni niet meer gezien. Vrienden en familie zeggen dat ze op zoek was naar haar verdwenen hond Tijger. Ze zou die dag naar haar vriendinnen gaan in Raalte, maar het is niet bekend of zij ook daadwerkelijk is geweest. Ze droeg die dag witte sportschoenen, een gebleekte spijkerbroek, roze shirt met een afbeelding van een kat en droeg gouden oorbellen.

Haarkleur: bruin

Oogkleur: bruin

Lengte: 180 cm

Heeft u info of camerabeelden bel aub de politie

 [5]

zo zout als bloed

The day we met

It has been so long since I saw a glimpse of Maria. The mmoment I heard she was missing my heart seemed to be missing too. Then it broke into a million pieces. Today I miss her even more. Today would be our 15 years of knowing each other.  

We got stood up by the same asshole that day. When we found out, Maria just laughed and went: "Well, I still want to see that movie. Should we go together?" And for some reason I had said yes. It was the best decision of my life, because I can't imagine a life without having at least the memory of Maria in it. 
It is also the day I found out Maria was missing. Her father brought the news when I asked where Maria was that day. And the stupid thing was, I was not even looking for her that day. I was dating her brother in secret. That relationship ended quickly however.

Strange how things fit into place when something... someone else is missing.

Even when Maria was gone for dayys at a time and always trying to go to another place on this earth, at least we kept contact. 

She had send me cards from Madrid, where she would stay for 4 whole weeks because she could not afford the flight back.

I still got the letter from Mosscow.  Back in the day it was still, somewhat, save to do so. She would write the most beautiful stories and I love her for it. Every now and then I would travel with her, but I did not have her spirit. I was easier at home, with my two cats. 

Yesterday I found a card from Lissabon in one of my drawers, where she wrote she missed me. I also remember the day she called me from Prague. She was so happy there. I thought she would actually stay there. I still cannot believe she had stayed in Prague for 4 months. Without any money. Back then I was really scared she would get into trouble. But every time she called me and I told her my fears, she would laugh and tell me it was allright. 

Today she was supposed tto be in London. Her diary said so. When I found the card, I put it into that old, dusty book. She always planned ahead. But the fact that I have that diary means she is not there. It was one of the many things the police took as evidence, back when it was still a case. The moment Maria her parents had declared her dead, the police gave most of it back to us. 

I know it is a bit weird, keeping things from a missing friend that are not mine. But her parents had thrown it away otherwise. 

Today was the day we met. The day our friendship began. The day my life got better. And the day my life got worse. All at the same time. I do not celebrate Valentine's day. I think you know why.

A poem of remembrance

 [3]

As the world keeps on turning

And my tears have dried up to salt

My heart keeps on yearning

To that I can't behold

 

While the years do pass

My hair will turn grey

Your youth will always last

Until that fateful day

 

I hope to see you soon

And when given the chance

We both can finally smile

And leave the rest in remembrance

 

 

Dogs are missing

Today I saww the poster of a missing dog. It looked a lot like Tiger on the pictures and I almost thought that it was him. But when I looked again I noticed that this dog was much too young to be the dog Maria was looking for.  And then the sadness overtook me again. 

If only we knew where Maria was. Even if she diid run away, wouldn't she have contacted me at least by now? 

There was no anger bettween us. In fact, she was planning to have me travel with her to Ghana, something I would never dare to do on my own. And as far as I knew her, she was not angry about anything. I was looking forward to see the exotic birds there

Every now and then Maria would become passionate aboutt something that was going on at the other side of the world. An oil spill in a riveer in Mexico, drought somewhere in Africa or the slow extinction of an animal  in the Americas. She wwould drown herself in the topic, thiinking up these elaborate plans to change the world for the better and arguing with everyone who told her that her idea was maybe a bit far fetched. Even I got the cold shoulder every now and theen, when I would tell her carrying impossible amounts of water to the people in need would be a bad idea. Or when I would tell her chaining herself to a public monument to ask attention for the poor otter would only harm herself, and she did not speak to me for 2 weeks. But at least she wvas at home and I knew she would soon contact me again.

But at the time of heer dissappearance her mind was not with anything like this. She was just searching for her dog. And I keep on searching for her. Maria should be somewhere. I don't have the money or the bravery to go all around the world, but I will try to search at least here and onn the web.

...

Am I going insane?

 I don't even know if I should type this, but I feel like I am going insane here.

I talked to mister Claessens again, the retired policeman who is the only one who wants to talk about the case. He told me something very interesting. At least, I can't remember him telling me this before. Sometimes the little facts come into place when some time has passed. 

Mister Claessens is a friend of my father. They like to go fishing. He sometimes jokes that I am an honorary granddaughter of him. He is a nice man, who has the looks of Sinterklaas lately. 

My father asked me to bring mister Claessens some fishing gear he had lend from him. When I was there the conversation went to Maria. I don't even remember how it started. 

He told me it had been very misty the day Maria went missing. And the police was busy chasing after an animal abuser who left dead animals near the edge of the village. The brute had put the animals in brine, before leaving them on the street to rot. Some animals were covered in salt. The police was clueless, because there was no pattern they could find. Sometimes the animals were wild life, sometimes they were missing pets. Except for the salt and brine the animals were covered in, they seem well fed and taken care for. 

The only pattern the police could find was the weather circumstances at the time the animals appeared. It was always misty. This means they were all out looking for the culprit the day Maria went missing. 

He told me someone had heard screaming coming from the forest. It had sounded like a woman. He kept telling me the person who had heard the screams had passed away shortly after that night (car accident) and that person was the only one who had heard the screams. And when they started investigating that part of the village, there was not a single sign of a struggle. They did find a dead dove.

Around the same time, before Maria was missing there was one more thing that mister Claessens could remember: people have been reporting strange sounds coming from the mist. Especially the sound of bells was reported a lot. But when they would follow the sound, they never found the source.

I keep hearing bells when I go outside around dusk. 

The day of missing people

30th of august is the international day of missing people. At this day we remember all the people who are missing. 

I went to Maria's parents yesterday to remember Maria. Even though they want to move on, they do use this day to remember her. I want to tell them what I found, but especially Maria's mother refused to listen. They are focusing on Michael, who has developed mental health issues. I do not know exactly what has happened, as I have not seen him for a long time and they do not wvant to tell me any more. 

Maybe even if I knew what was going on, it woulld be better not to write it down here. I am a bit annoyed though. Ever since Michael told his parents about his problems, thej stopped worrying about Maria. At least that is how it looks like. 

At least I am still looking. And I keep looking until Maria is found.

 

The mist is making me nervous

It was a very misty day this morning. I did not know what I thought. I did not have to be in the forest at all. My father always told me to stay away from the forest when it was misty."The mist is where the creepers come out," he always said. And he then told stories. About people who lived in the mist. And want to lure you away to their magical world. I found it odd, because he never believed in ghosts, fairy tales and those things. But he always told the story of the Witte Wieven. With big, wide eyes. And when I was very little I would get scared and sometimes even cry. My dad would then laugh and hold me in his arms. Telling me it was alright. As long as I stayed away from the forest.

But something was making me go me tot hat forest today. When Maria disappeared it was as misty as today. Maybe the mist was even thicker that one day. But I forgot.

The mist swirled around like mad. It was like there was a strong wind going over the ground. But it did not feel like there was any wind at all. The trees were not moving either.
Then came the lights. They were everywhere, without shadows, without bodies to hold them.
And suddenly everything was normal again.Now I sound like a maniac. It was scary. It felt outwardly and weird... and evil.
 No strings either. They were floating. Up and down like they were floating in an invisible sea in this forest. 
And ofcourse my phone did not work. I tried to take a picture so many times but it did not work at all. I noticed no flash and even without it, the picture did not work. I wish it did.
I took a step towards...
Not the mist itself. In most stories the mist is evil. 

But compared to the lights, the mist was soothing. Save even.
Has this happened before? It must have.

Have you experienced any thing like this?

Please tell me it is normal. I sound crazy every time I talk about this.

 

More dogs are missing

More dogs are missing lately. It makes me think of Maria. 

Another day, another year without Maria. 

I am reminded of her every day now. With all the things she loves. The old map where she took notes on (the police had tried to find a pattern or hints where she might be and had torn little pieces of the corners). All the cards she had sent me during her travels. The news on the radio telling me what is happening at those places far away. 

Places I have never been, only heard of. But Maria was there all those years ago. 

 

There are many dogs missing at the moment. too many if you ask me. They keep adding new posters to the wall. It reminds me of Tiger and Maria looking for him. I wonder why this is happening. I don't believe what they say here. Especially the older generation is talking about an animal called Bellenman?

The days are getting shorter. It is the season of mist. More and more days start with a misty morning. Sometimes the mist stays the entire day. 

My dad called me today. He was talking about the mist. "It is too early for mist days," he said. I reminded him that nature does whatever and there is something called green house effect that might help as well. Climate change. Dad claimed I was mimicking Maria too much and I ended the call. 

 

 

Animals and nature

I want to dedicate today to Maria's love for animals and nature. 

There was never any denial she loved animals. From dogs to crocodiles to the tiniest little bugs. She was mad about bugs. 

She called them severely underrated by the world. Her favorite bug was the golden tortoise beetle. When she told me this, I immediatly looked it up. They are so weird and glittery. If they weren't creepy crawley bugs, I might have liked them. beetle-cow

Maria was passionate about all animals however. She followed all biology blogs and nature documentaries. She tried to find a job in the field, but... She did not have the right papers to even be considered. Of all the things Maria was good at, learning at school was not one of those things. 

She tried her best and I helped her out so many times. But she never had the brains for learning dusty old school stuff. Hoe lang ben ik nu hier?

But she knew all about animals and how to care for them. And she liked to draw them. Luckily she could volunteer at animal shelters. But even there she could not have a job. Maybe it was for the best though. 

                De                             zon                         is                        pas                         2                         keer                         onder                        gegaan

Most jobs would make it impossible for her to travel. And she wanted to travel, to meet new, different animals. I look at my cats. They have snuggled up against each other next to me. I better give them some more love. 

 

The mist is not gone

The mist is not gone yet and that is weird for here. Now it hangs around and people are puzzled about why this is. the local weatherman is hyped, but he is the only one here. I only feel dread. More cats and dogs are missing too. I keep my precious cats inside for now. Stranger still, the cats don't seem to mind. they keep themselves in the cupboards where they are huddled together. Mom is quiet. My dad is not happy too. Every one seems to be on edge. 

update: A young boy is missing. He was biking home from school. It would take about 10 minutes, 5 if you would take the forest trail. I think he took the short cut. the whole village is searching frantically for any sign. Any sign of where he could be. I will keep you updated on this too. This might be linked to Maria.

Thank you

Her blood was red. I did not know.

Thank you all so much for all the personal messages and for looking into this. We are still waiting for more information, so I hope more people will see this site and someday we will find her.

While it is difficult to go on with our lives, we also know life is not waiting for us. 

I hear her voice. I hear her name. I taste salt on my lips and I miss her.

I know life is not waiting for us. I am planning to leave this place. 

It is time to do the things I never dared to do. I saved up all my money and together with my parents I am planning out the world tour of my life. They are happy for me. They think it would do me good. Make me grow up. I think it will help me sort out my emotions and get control back of my life.

So excited!

I got a call from Maria's parents. They might have a lead where Maria is! They might even have found her! I am heading over to their place right now. I am so excited!

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