The day we met

It has been so long since I saw a glimpse of Maria. The mmoment I heard she was missing my heart seemed to be missing too. Then it broke into a million pieces. Today I miss her even more. Today would be our 15 years of knowing each other.  

We got stood up by the same asshole that day. When we found out, Maria just laughed and went: "Well, I still want to see that movie. Should we go together?" And for some reason I had said yes. It was the best decision of my life, because I can't imagine a life without having at least the memory of Maria in it. 
It is also the day I found out Maria was missing. Her father brought the news when I asked where Maria was that day. And the stupid thing was, I was not even looking for her that day. I was dating her brother in secret. That relationship ended quickly however.

Strange how things fit into place when something... someone else is missing.

Even when Maria was gone for dayys at a time and always trying to go to another place on this earth, at least we kept contact. 

She had send me cards from Madrid, where she would stay for 4 whole weeks because she could not afford the flight back.

I still got the letter from Mosscow.  Back in the day it was still, somewhat, save to do so. She would write the most beautiful stories and I love her for it. Every now and then I would travel with her, but I did not have her spirit. I was easier at home, with my two cats. 

Yesterday I found a card from Lissabon in one of my drawers, where she wrote she missed me. I also remember the day she called me from Prague. She was so happy there. I thought she would actually stay there. I still cannot believe she had stayed in Prague for 4 months. Without any money. Back then I was really scared she would get into trouble. But every time she called me and I told her my fears, she would laugh and tell me it was allright. 

Today she was supposed tto be in London. Her diary said so. When I found the card, I put it into that old, dusty book. She always planned ahead. But the fact that I have that diary means she is not there. It was one of the many things the police took as evidence, back when it was still a case. The moment Maria her parents had declared her dead, the police gave most of it back to us. 

I know it is a bit weird, keeping things from a missing friend that are not mine. But her parents had thrown it away otherwise. 

Today was the day we met. The day our friendship began. The day my life got better. And the day my life got worse. All at the same time. I do not celebrate Valentine's day. I think you know why.